rental property

Dear Cheese Father,

Our Children have monsters in their closets, but our landlord says that getting a pikaboo violates the “no pets” portion of our contract. What else can we do?

Trapped Renter

Dear Renter,

Monsters, and whose responsibility they are, is something you really should have negotiated with your landlord about before you moved in. Check your contract again, but look under Pest Control to see if he would have to help you get the monsters out.

Pikaboo attacking

If that doesn’t work out, it’s never too late to try and renegotiate. If he will hear you out, tell him what a safe ‘pet’ a Pikaboo can be. Technically, they aren’t even a “live animal”. They feed on electricity, and so are incapable of producing waste that would stain any carpet. They don’t have claws that need sharpening on furniture. They will never track in dirt, mud, or yak droppings from next door. They are not outgoing enough to bother the neighbors. And they are fairly unlikely to start house fires.

If he still stands firm on “No Pets”, you can use the same arguments to try and reclassify a Pikaboo as a small appliance.

~Kevin

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