A funny thing happened to the cheese-flower barrier... All the plant-like properties are gone; all that's left is cheese. On what I'm pretty sure is a related note, there's not a trace of weed killer anymore either.

I'll do a separate news post on this once I've figured out what's up. Meanwhile, on to your questions:

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Mr. Math Guy,

I need to learn better time management. What do you suggest?

-Always Late

Dear Always,

A wise man once said, "Look to the ant." And of course it's clear why. Ants are well known throughout the insect world for their time management seminars. Since the introduction of the shrink ray, they've opened up these seminars to the rest of the animal kingdom. A quick Google or a Bing should help you find one near you.

One note to consider if you don't have your own shrink ray, there will be an extra fee to get you in the door. This fee will vary by colony.


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Dr. Cheese,

What does it mean when people say they have flat feet? And is it curable?

Flat Stanley

Dear Flat,

It means that your feet have collapsed and may not have enough height to properly support your body's weight. But if it's not causing you any pain, then there's no need to worry about a 'cure.'

If the problem is more than cosmetic and causing you pain... Well, what the cure is depends on how you came by the condition. If you were born with it or simply had it develop after an injury it can be corrected with sole inserts or corrective braces.

If by some chance you're referring to one of the many symptoms of Sudden Flatness Syndrome, you'll want to try a diet of dense, fatty foods. Food so heavy that it falls straight past your hips on down to your feet.

Either way, you'll want to check with your doctor.


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