energy surge

It would seem that the power surge earlier this week caused a probability rift in the already unstable web-page structure. This started a chain reaction which ultimately transmogrified a bit of the HTML into an enormous flower. You may have seen it peeking though the title/header earlier this week.

Oddly enough, this giga-flower taking root in the code actually served to stabilize the randomly shifting layout. But... being a human male, I'm not really interested in having a flowery website.

As you can see, my attempts to remove the flower have been moderately successful. Kind of...

My attempted deflorestation triggered a defense mechanism in the flower and it transmogrified itself into a brick wall of cheese with floral graffiti.

It's a step in the right direction anyway. And still fairly stable.

It's worth noting that getting updates through the cheese-wall has proven a little difficult. I triggered the defensive transmogrification two days ago and just now broke through... Which is another way of saying that tomorrow's advice update may be later than the last couple. I will however strive to get it through before the weekend's end.

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It's been a quite a while, so it's high time for some of you patient folks to have your questions answered:

Dear Math Man,

I'd like to start my own advice column. Accept... I don't really want to give advice.. I want to give funny answers. Make people laugh, you know? How do I keep people from taking me to seriously?

Bacon Pi

Dear Bacon,

It all depends on the first impression you give people. The simplest answer is to spend your fist update or three answering questions from yourself.


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Hey Skippy,

I've got this old website I'd like to reboot, but I think all my readers have left in the 4 years since my last update. How can I rebuild my fan-base?

Old and Fanless

Dear Oldie,

Hmm...  I may be a bit rusty, but I think I can take on the two-part question you've given me.

If you want your readers back, you are going to have to instill in them some confidence that you won't leave them hanging for another four years until your next update. You will have to give them something to read at much shorter intervals. Making these intervals Regular is what will instill that confidence.

As for your fan-base, there are plenty of web-hosts out there that are powered entirely by wind energy. So if you really want your site to be based on fans, these hosts will do your rebuilding for you.


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Something strange has just happened to my website... It was once barren and neglected, but suddenly has a spark of life to it. This is not a problem at all. In fact, can you tell me how to hang onto this new energy?


Dear Sparky,

I've noticed it too. My own site was devoid of life for about 4 years or so until very recently. It's also somehow taken on a bloggish quality.

I believe it has something to do with the convergence of Daylight Savings Time and Pi Day. Somehow, this dispersed a surge of energy that was drawn to cheesy websites like ours throughout cyberspace.

The challenge now is to keep that spark alive. You (and I) must fan the flame with a good base of fans. Oh, and some effort on your part to do regular updates would also go a long way.


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