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it’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m happy to see that you’re still living trouble free lives, or at least not needing my advice. It hasn't given me much to write about, but I've been pretty busy anyway.

I did warn you last time about questionable timing of updates, but I might as well admit I let myself get distracted. Aside from my job search... well, you know how it goes... one little misadventure leads to a little scientific breakthrough, and before you know it you've been studying it for hours on end until you pass out from the exhaustion that you'd been ignoring only to wake and find that the cat has playfully batted essential portions of your notes and findings under the refrigerator. I'll publish it as soon as I get it back.

But that’s not to say that I’ve got nothing to show for the last two months. First of all, I’ve given the “About” page a long overdue overhaul. If you’ve never understood how or why I do what I do here, now’s the time to revisit that page.

Lastly, I’m not going to let a lack of questions stop me from offering help. To accomplish this, I’ve opened a Gift Shop. Suppose that people don’t seem to understand your sense of humor, or you want to remind yourself how serious you were about dropping that bad habit, or you just want to strengthen your marriage. I have items for sale that can help with all of these scenarios, and if they prove useful I will certainly add more.

Stay tuned, dear readers. I am still alive and will continue updating as time and cats allow.

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Sorry everyone. I have done a lousy job of updating this past month. I'd like to say that I've been away because I drifted out of time and thought after vanquishing a mighty foe and am now returning as a higher level advice columnist. But alas, the battle is still in progress.

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but I have a day-job that occupies a large part of my time. The Square Root of Cheese has always been a free time project. And until I find a way to make the Bills stop coming, it will have to stay like that.*

The reason for the delay is that I've been so unhappy with my day job lately that I find myself having to follow some of my own advice and start looking for a new one. This takes time. More specifically, the time reserved for answering your questions. Thankfully, I see that no one has been submitting any questions, which must mean that none of you have any problems** anymore.

Updates will likely continue to be sporadic until I land that new job, but I will make every effort to continue answering your questions as frequently as I can as soon as you start having problems again.**

~Kevin

*Unless there were enough of you willing to buy ad-space*** or SRoC merchandise.***
**Even if you've been lucky enough to live a trouble free life, what about your friends and family? Surely one of them must have something they need help with. You should tell them about The Square Root of Cheese just in case.
***if, by some chance, these opportunities actually do interest you, leave a comment or send an email to let me know.
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Sorry for the delay, everyone. It's a long story that started with a new laptop and ended with a trip to the vet. But, I'll tell you about it later. These questions have been anxiously waiting for an answer:

pretty divider

Here's the deal,

My dentist tells me I have to floss and brush more, but I'm a busy guy! Isn't there another way?

I. B. Rushed

Dear Ivan,

Just stop eating foods that stick to your teeth. Then you won't have to worry about remembering to brush it off later.

~Kevin

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Dear Skippy,

My wife keeps telling me about how "the dishes won't take care of themselves." How do we get those slackers to pull their own weight?

Dishing It Out

Dear Mr. Out,

She isn't saying what you think she's saying. A lot of women do this. It's called Dropping Hints Instead of Asking For Help Outright. For some reason, they seem to like it better when we decide to help out on our own rather than having to be asked. This is their way of helping us do that.

Now as for your dishes, they really do sound like slackers, so it's no wonder that your wife is Dropping Hints. The key word here is Discipline. Maintain discipline at all times and never give them an inch. It will take both of you to do this. Remember that word Mr. Out; Discipline.

~Kevin

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PleasE

.......STanD

......................by

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I know... I blew it. I totally missed last week's update. I apologize.

It's ready now, but I've decided to turn this into an opportunity to get ahead. What's ready now, will come out on Thursday. What I've been working on for this week, will be for next week. Suddenly, I'm working ahead! Maybe someday I'll be far enough ahead that I can dispense advice multiple times a week!

In the meantime, thanks for putting up with Lemons like this last week.

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I'm sorry to say that I had no time for answering your questions yesterday. I was much to busy assisting my local Jedi Council with their annual Respect for Chickens Day event.

Naturally, all Jedi have a great respect for all living things, including chickens. Every year, my local J.C. helps promote awareness of all the many ways chicken can be served: barbecued chicken, fried chicken, chicken noodle soup, chicken and rice, chicken nuggets, etc. This year's winner was an especially good Teriyaki chicken.

I apologize for not warning you in advance; the Force was not with me and it slipped my mind. For future reference, this event is held every May the Fourth. Be with you next week for a proper update.

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I've learned something interesting tomorrow. It seems that my web-server is located on a temporal fault line and is occasionally subjected to TimeQuakes. This particular quake caused The Square Root of Cheese to skip right over Thursday. The end result is that the advice I had given today fell between the cracks in space-time and was never actually given. What you are reading now, won't actually be written until tomorrow when I find out what happened, but I had to send it back in time to you so that you would be aware of the situation.

Baring any more TimeQuakes, your regularly scheduled advice column will return next Thursday.

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Due to an eleventh hour question submission that requires immediate attention... and a touch of negligence... Today's regularly scheduled advice column has been postponed until sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

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As you can see, from the spontaneous layout change, the site is still slightly unstable. It seems I upset some kind of balance when I tried to upgrade to WordPress 3. (Which should have Worked Like a Charm...)

And I'm sure you also noticed that this kept me from writing any advice last week, for which I wish to apologize. To make it up to you, I'm going to make it easier for you to ask your questions. Check out the updated and Fully Operational Ask a Question page.

Be sure to check back next Thursday for more advice.

~Kevin

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Technical difficulties, please continue standing by. An attempted upgrade backfired.

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