Don't forget, the sale in the Gift Shop ends tonight. Check last week's post for the coupon codes. And now, as promised, here's a fresh batch of advice!

Dear Cheese Man,

You seem to be good with words, maybe you can help me. I started playing Scrabble with my boyfriend so we could have a way to spend time together online, and even gave him a Scrabble dictionary for his birthday. We've been having a great time, but lately he's been starting to make really fantastic plays and win the game more often. I think he may be becoming a logophile, and it's hurting my game stats. What should I do?

-Dethroned Scrabble Queen

Dear Dethroned,

Scrabble has indeed been known to bring out logophilia in otherwise normal people. If he has caused any pain to your stats, you must take action now. Start by doing what you can to limit his exposure to word games and insist that he play number games with you instead. Then watch for signs of withdrawal: kibitzing with a disproportionately extravagant vocabulary, trying to make words with numbers that look like letters, or insisting that the numbers are letters.

If he can play a game of Uno like a normal person, then his condition is not serious, and you need only study the dictionary yourself and step up your own game. If not, then your only way to keep your stats safe is to make the hard choice to play word games with other people.

~Kevin

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Cheesey GUy,

You mentioned before that you have cats. One of our cats keeps knocking his water bowl around and making a mess. Have you had to deal with this and how did you do it?

Sick of Soggy Socks

Dear Soggy,

Our cat Lightning used to love playing with his water bowl, spilling half of it's contents on the floor. It seems that cats like to have fresh, running water. If it isn't, some cats will simulate freshness by making the water move.

We have tried a heavier bowl with a skid-resistant bottom. This only encouraged him to hit it harder which resulted in even more spilling.

Some experts suggest one of those fancy bowls with a fountain that keeps the water moving, but personal experience has shown me that this is far from foolproof. The water always moves the same way, and Lightning sometimes gets bored with that and decides to try and make it more exciting.

The only true solution is to firmly attach the bowl to the floor. Velcro, while it makes it easier to clean and refill the bowl, is not a firm enough attachment. Tape could be a workable solution; but our other cat, Zooky, seems to think that all forms of tape are edible. Glue risks exposing the cats to harmful fumes and chemicals. The only remaining solution (which we have not yet cleared with our landlord) is to nail the bowl to the floor. Kitty will never move that bowl again.

~Kevin

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